Why I am here.

Twenty six,twenty seven,twenty eight,twenty nine.
I was counting the number of cars from my seat above them since I'm sitting in my school bus in the pink phase of the morning.It is an activity that I try to occupy myself with when a desire whose execution demands of me something more than what I'm willing to part with.My decision was in the no man's land,neither with me nor with my desire.It seemed that just a teeny-weeny-little push was enough to move it either side.Apparently an easy task,but the trouble was that I couldn't come up with anything that would do the work of pushing it to my side.Never mind,I told myself,you'll come up with something.It is only a matter of time before you come up with one that possess enough energy to do that work.And anyway,it isn't like the Desire has any lawyer to argue for its side,I mean,all that its got is me.So, if I don't think for it,it will not come into possession of the required energy.I'm going to win this and I won't need to execute the Desire.
Thirty,thirty one.
Man,why isn't more cars coming???
Just then,Caro turned towards me.Whenever Caro moves,however slight it maybe,however negligible it may look,it is bound to create a great huge distraction.The degree of d(i/e)str(a/u)ction depends on many factors.But right then,I was relieved for that movement.Whatever her action maybe,I was sure it had the potential to grant me the kinetic energy my mind required to move away from the battlefield.
"What do you think about creating a blog,Shaima?"
Lesson no. million something:Never be sure about anything
Lesson no. million something+1:Never underestimate Caroline Savio.She can do anything.Even act as a lawyer for an immaterial stranger her mind has to be totally unaware of.
She just gave the Desire moorree than enough energy to pull the Decision into its land thus losing me a battle that I was sure could never be lost.(Revision no. million something of Lesson no. million something:Never be sure about anything)I never thought that the Desire would get my friend as an ally.And I'll never fight a battle with my friend on the other side.
So, here I am, executing the Desire.My naming it the Desire seems quite wrong if I was fighting a battle against its execution,but I named it so because it was something that always had looking-forward-to seal on it and I would enjoy doing it.But its execution had to be prevented due to my nature that demanded I do nothing of that sort which had the potential to attract some attention to me.But when Desire got Caro as an ally,it defeated my resistance.This defeat asked for some changes to be made in my nature in order to accommodate it.And I complied(willingly, I should say, since it is, after all,my desire).
Right now, I am confused.Have I lost the battle,since my resistance was crumpled,or have I won,since I got my desire?
Really confusing...
P.S.:I stopped my car counting activity after thirty one as my mind found itself occupied with the d(i/e)str(a/u)ction Caro caused with her seemingly negligible movement.